The Crab Apple Tree

Okay, so I am the youngest person in my whole family, so naturally, I have a lot of role models. Well, that's one way to put it, but not my way. My cousins are known to be fun and hilarious people, but at some times they can act a bit stupid. First off they are twins and are in their early thirties, but sometimes they don't exactly act their age. My cousin Geoff is eight minutes older than my cousin Steve, and, as Geoff puts it, the first 8 minutes were the best minutes of his life. Well, this story takes place a while back when they were teenagers, maybe 16 years old. Geoff had a baby sitting job at a house down the street from his own, and he knew better than to tell Steven the address of the house. So, instead of finding the address out from Geoff, he called one of his mom's friends for the address because he knew that she had it. He came up with some sad sob story why he had to go to the house that his brother was babysitting at. He called up their best friend and they were going to go over to the house and they obviously were going to cause trouble. So, they got there and saw a crab apple tree. They climbed up into the tree and started throwing crab apples at the house. My cousin had a pretty good arm so it sounded a little like a gun shot. My cousin Geoff was so scared, he had the kids in the basement, the younger one was crying and he did not know what to do, so he called the police. The policeman came to the door about 15 minutes later and knocked on the door. When Geoff opened the door he found the policeman holding his brother in one hand by the collar and his best friend in the other. When the police officer asked Geoffrey if he knew the two boys I am sure that he thought about telling the police officer no, but instead he said, "Yes, that's my twin brother and that's my best friend." To this the police officer responded, "Well, you can't do much about your brother, but I would get a new best friend!" At that, he let the two boys go. Then, to his dismay, Steve discovered that he had locked his keys in his car. He had to go back to the police officer that had just plainly insulted him and ask him to please unlock his car. To this the police officer responded, "I am only supposed to do this if there is a baby locked in the car, but just because you boys are so stupid, I'm going to open the door for you!"

Those New Yorkers!

Well, I am on vacation and staying at my grandmas condo in Florida. Her deck is my favorite part of the house because it is the only part that is not scorching hot. It is also on a golf course. So, I was sitting out there reading, minding my own business, when, down on the golf course I saw a very old couple screaming at each other. They must have been at least in their 70's. Out of nowhere, I swear, I had not even seen them come onto the course. They were swearing and carrying on in such a way that another old man got involved. This went on until there were about five people swearing and screaming at the top of their lungs (by this time almost everyone was out on their front porch watching, nothing this exciting usually happens in a 55+ neighborhood). Finally, after they settled down, (or moved onto another hole, I honestly do not remember which), my mom came out to the porch. She simply said, "They must be New Yorkers" and walked away. This story was in no way meant to insult any people from New York, I just found it rather humorous.